You know what I'm talking about: the scrawls, doodles and scribblings
of your children boldly displayed on your family's refrigerator door.
We parents look at this art form with such pride and love; each scrap
symbolizing every nurturing moment. Our children see this ad hoc gallery
as a symbol of our acceptance; our unconditional love.
Unfortunately, from time to time, relationships between adults get in the
way of their relationship with their own children. When situations become
intractable, parents will pursue
divorce proceedings with great fervor. During that process, the love that parents
have for their children sometimes takes second place to the hostility
they harbor for each other. They focus on hurting their soon to be ex-husband
or ex-wife by using the children as a tool in their negotiations. And
if the adage rings true that children learn from their parents, then imagine
the lessons these parents are teaching through the course of their divorce.
Dr. Peter Favaro, a court-appointed child custody evaluator with 15 years
of experience, wrote a book Smart Parenting During and After Divorce.
Because of Dr. Favaro's vast experiences he understands the effects
divorce can have on families, especially when emotions, legal maneuvers
and other issues affect children. He wrote his book to guide parents through
the process of creating co-parenting situations that are easier for children
and better for the overall family structure - which, for better or worse
- will always exist in some form.
The bottom line is that adults can divorce their spouses but they always
have a relationship with their children. In lieu of damaging children
for life, says Dr. Favaro, parents need to find a way to put aside their
hostilities and focus on building the best co-parenting solution for their