The Truth - the Winning Argument for Your Case

24 May. 2012

Is Marriage Better the Second Time Around?

Posted By The Buncher Law Corporation

Every morning Ms. Dillman kisses her husband goodbye then stands on the steps to wave goodbye as he drives off to work. And every afternoon the couple has a chat to just check in with one another. For both it is their second marriage. And this one has lasted 29 years. Is it luck that they found one another or simply the respect and love that they have for one another?

A Wall Street Journal Article took a close look at the topic and exclaimed "Secrets of a Second Marriage: Beat the 8-Year Itch." A friend of mine was looking over my shoulder when I was reading the article and cynically commented, "Wonderful. Now, if they could only figure out how to beat the 3-year itch, the 12-year itch..." You get the idea. My friend is now leaving his third marriage.

There is no more a definitive answer if second marriages are doomed to fail any more than there is for any marriage, for that matter. One point that the article makes is that many first and second marriages seem to fail after 8 years. So, okay - that's statistics for you.

It is tempting to believe that you get a better shot at marital bliss the second time around. The WSJ article mentions Dr. Constance Ahron, a San Diego psychologist and therapist who specializes in divorce and remarriage. From her perspective, the second time around gives you time to explore your mistakes. "Don't remarry just to be married again," she says.

My grandaunt was married once; 57 years to a man whom she says she loved as much as she loathed at times. Her advice at her 100th birthday party last year, "Don't quibble, give a little, and be civil."

Simple enough.

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